


Vigil

by KnotaPeep (Zeeboa)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Keith (Voltron), Alpha Shiro (Voltron), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Hunk (Voltron), Beta Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, Omega Lance (Voltron), depression tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 15:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeeboa/pseuds/KnotaPeep
Summary: Omega's aren't an impossible puzzle but they treat him like one.





	Vigil

**Author's Note:**

> Its been brought to my attention that parts of this fic can be triggering. I'm sorry I should have tagged it. I'm not exactly sure how to but if you have Depression please take care when reading this. Lance struggles with Self worth and his general worth within the Paladins.

Fighting the Galra and following distress beacons rarely leaves the Paladins with free days so when they have the opportunity, they take it relaxing to the fullest. Breakfast isn’t a rushed and they finally get to have nice conversations . Heads turn to Lance as he laughs at something Keith had said a hand gently cupping Keith's cheek. Their moment is lost when a berry pings them in the face. Pidge’s face is screwed up in mock disgust. “Get a room you sickos!” 

Hunk walks in then with another plate of ‘Space Pancakes’ “I don’t know, I think it’s cute.” Lance sticks his tongue out at her and Keith is blushing furiously excusing himself from the table. 

A hand reaches out to stop him grasping his fingers blue eyes meeting grey, “Observatory later?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

After breakfast, There’s Coran who checks in on the ship’s status, Allura and Shiro finally stopped beating around the bush, They were somewhere making lovey dovey faces at each other and In one of the common rooms the rest of the Paladins gathered trying to make heads and tales of a new game Lance had created. 

In the middle of his animated explanation something low in his stomach lurches stilling his movements. He was doing something, what was he doing? The room swims dizzily and, Why. Can’t. He . Just. Focus? Then there’s a buzzing in his ear. 

“Lance!” he turns and the world tilts on its axis.  
“Lance are you ok?” He frowns was he? 

“I don’t- I don't feel so well.” he stands takes a step stumbling into Keith. “Dude,what the hell?” Keith catches him a hand brushing against his neck and Lance's legs buckle. Keith looks down at the Blue Paladin he's surprised to see him staring wide eyed at him. 

“Lance?” His breath quickens as his face heats. “Alpha.” The Alpha growls possessively his hand already coming to grip his neck. Lance feels his body go limp and his head falls back as he bares his neck. The beginnings of the sweet scent of slick floats through the air. 

From somewhere on his left Keith hears his name and another growl rumbles in his chest. The Omega in his arms squirms lazily pawing at his clothes. “Keith!” The realization that Lance was going into heat and he was only egging it on sobered him up. “I can’t” he gasps as he lets go of Lance forgetting that his legs had turned to Jelly. Lance yelps, the rejection cutting deeper than the floor. Breathing hard he pushes off the ground. Keith already clear to the door leaves trying to forget the devastated look in Lance’s face.

Hunk places a steadying hand on Lance. “You ok?” Lance takes a moment to answer still slightly lost in the haze, and Keith’s scent clinging to his clothes aren’t helping. He was far from Ok but he wasn't going to tell Hunk that. 

He clears his throat “Yeah, I guess it's just an off day,” he pats Hunk’s hand in thanks “I’m gonna go lie down maybe that’ll help” 

The walk to his room has him insanely agitated not in the angry way but the way the leaves a bad taste in his mouth and the feeling of bugs crawling under his skin. Pair this up with the worst feeling of rejection and embarrassment you could muster and you had Lance.The action of Keith pushing him away broke something in him. They’ve been on the way to dating still butting heads occasionally,but now he doesn’t know where they stand. It’s like all their connections have been severed. If he had actually paid attention to the Garrison’s Pack Behavior course, he would have realized it was essentially due to his status in their little pack. 

The thing was Omegas were generally the ones who kept a group together whether it’d be diffusing tensions or just taking care of a team in general it was part of who they were. Keith’s rejection makes it seem like he’s a bad Omega, like he isn’t good enough to be a mate or caregiver. That he’s useless in the pack and it isn't worth it for any Alpha to protect him.

Denial feels so much better than admitting he’s going into heat but just as the thought crosses his mind warmth blossoms again low in his gut trickling up his spine. “Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.” He slams his hand against the panel by his door which whooshes open as he enters, he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough as he struggles to relieve the heat scorching through his body. He stumbles to his bed his hand already stroking his length. He needed more. Lance gasps as another wave burns through him. 

*****

Heat wasn't a familiar occurrence for him, the Garrison for obvious reasons deemed it necessary for all recruits to be on suppressants. Lance doubted he was the only Omega there but none of that matters now they were out in deep space. At the moment all he can think about is the Alpha he can still smell on himself. He needs to be filled vulgar as that sounds. The idea of being split in half by an Alpha knot has him rutting against the bed with fingers slipping inside himself to somehow soothe the emptiness he’s feeling. He bites into the pillow a desperate whine clawing its way out of his throat. He wouldn’t get an Alpha this cycle that’s for sure but it doesn’t stop him from imaging Keith pounding his body into the mattress. With that imagery alone he’s cumming hard into his sheets but it wasn't nearly enough. Like a wave the flames subside for moments only to come back with a vengeance. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he groans into his pillow. 

******

It’s in the empty barracks Shiro finds Keith pacing a groove in the ground. “Knock knock, is anyone home?’ Keith startles looking at Shiro with wide eyes. “Where’s Lance, why aren’t you with him?” 

Shiro huffs plopping next to him on the bed. “ I would ask you the same thing you courting him and all.” “I-” Keith doesn't answer a dark look clouding his features. They sit in silence and the Red Paladin takes a deep breath. “Was I that obvious?” Shiro barks out a laugh and that's all the answer he needs. 

Shiro sobers “But he needs an Alpha.” Keith scowls “Why? As heartless as it sounds why can't he ride this heat out by himself.” ‘Until I’m ready to spend it with him’ is the part he keeps to himself

“We’re a pack and if neither of us go to Lance he's going to suffer. You feel it as an Alpha that need to protect, Omegas feel that too but in the way they need to take care of their pack. And in return, As primitive as it sounds, we protect them when they’re vulnerable during their heats. 

“But we aren’t a pack Shiro there’s no way when we’re fighting all the time. I barely even know Hunk and Pidge the only thing Lance and I have going is our little rivalry.” 

Shiro squeezes Keith’s shoulder as he stands. “Then you should work on it. You’ve been getting long and he likewise. Come on, Hunk said he’s been working on a recipe. The least you can do is bring Lance food”

*****

What everyone fails to mention about the unsexy parts of heats is when you pass out in a mess of your own cum, sweat, and slick. And how in the few moments where you’re lucid, it's a deep well of self pity, thirst and hunger. 

With an achy body Lance pushes himself off the mess and finds himself shoving the blankets to the floor instead of getting food and water like he wanted to. This heat snuck up on him leaving no room to build a nest. He needs more bedding to feel a modicum of comfort. 

This backwards he knows but he’s already in the corridor. Somewhere in his heat addled brain Lance knows he should just stay in his room away from the others. But instinct is telling him he needs to make a nest, or more accurately a burrow. Somewhere he can feel safe, the lack of Alphas leaves him feeling exposed. 

Hunk and Pidge’s rooms were first, any extra bedding they owned was pulled from their storage containers. At Keith’s door he hesitates should he even go in? Shiro’s belongings already had a taken scent so his was out of the question and Keith had already made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't take long to decide, the need for safety outweighing propriety. 

When the doors slides open he's hit with the undeniable scent of Alpha. This was a mistake clearly but Lance couldn't tell his legs to stop moving, the room just felt safe. No other Alpha would enter this territory... in theory. 

Lance grabs the mess of blankets off Keith’s bed and just lays in it bundling them around himself. A content hum vibrating his body. He should have left, he should have just taken the blankets and left but instead there he is curled up in Keith’s blankets in Keith’s room on Keith’s floor. Sleep did sound like a better idea though. 

********

On the other side of the castle ship, the other Paladins were just finishing their meal. “Hunk, this lasagna is amazing”  
“First of all, its Space Lasagna and thank you.” Pidge pushes her plate away and glances at the door “Lance didn’t show up. I wonder if he’s ok enough to leave his room” 

Hunk pulls a container towards him, “I made him some Space Chicken noodle soup if any of you guys want to bring it to him….Anybody? Keith, Pidge?” They avoid his gaze moving the sauce around on their plates. “Fine if I come back with the spaceflu don’t expect me to cook for you.” Pidge looks at him confused 

“Hunk, Lance is in heat.” He stops surprised “Ah.I guess my nose isn't working as well as it should be. I’m heading over there anyway he needs food in that case.”  
Keith stands as Hunk begins to leave “I’m heading to bed I’ll walk with you.” 

**********

As they turn down the corridor to their rooms Keith jerks back, a wall of Lance’s sweet smell is the only thing he can focus on “Fuck dude.” 

Hunk looks at him “Its that bad for you huh.” Keith groans “Like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t think I can stay here while he’s in heat” 

That takes Hunk aback “ Wait you aren't staying with him for his heat, that's kinda fucked up.” Keith glares at him “We aren’t even dating Hunk it’ll be fine.” 

Hunk looks uncertain “No, I don’t think you get it. Heats don’t need to be sexual and I don't know if you know this, you left before we covered it at the Garrison. When pack bonds are already established refusing to spend an Omega’s heat with them is essentially telling him he's been doing a shit job and he isn’t a good caretaker.” 

Keith grunts “Shiro told me, but do you think with the way we bicker we’re a pack?”

Hunk shrugs “I think so. Families butt heads all the time but at the end of the day they’re still family.” Keith glowers.

“I need to get this to him before it gets cold. Use the rooms on the floor beneath this one if you’re serious about leaving.” Hunk continues down the hall disappearing into Lance’s room, only to come out a panicked look on his face.  
“He’s not in there.” “What?” “He's not on his bed or the burrow.”  
Keith stops short. “He made a Burrow not a Nest?”  
“Keith, that doesn’t matter right now, he isn't in there!” Down the hall a door slides open and its Lance hauling all of Keith’s blankets back towards his room. He looks up making eye contact with Keith. 

Maybe this was a second chance maybe he’d have his Alpha to watch over him, someone to protect him. He shuffles forward dropping the blankets. “I can be better, please.” Keith only stares wide eyed before taking a jerky step back and booking it back the way he came. 

Lance wails, and it’s a heartbreaking sound. Another step he’s stumbling over the blankets he’d dropped. He falls to the floor barely feeling the impact and the sheets next to him were no longer intoxicating with their scent, but sour.  
“Lance hey buddy, I got you.” He'd forgotten Hunk was there  
“I'm sorry.”and he doesn't even know what he was apologizing for but they keep spilling from his lips.

There’s nothing much that Hunk can do with another wave of heat finally hitting Lance again. The only thing he can do is get him back to his room with the blankets. He tries to make Lance as comfortable as he can, leaving the cold soup on a table and the doors slide shut leaving Lance to suffer by himself. 

 

He lays still for as long as he thinks he can bear after Hunk leaves which isn’t very long. Why does everyone keep leaving? He’s laying on his stomach and it gives him a bit of relief, the friction of the bed against his cock. He grinds down against the bed gasping with the shocks of pleasure each small movement makes. But none of it was enough, it would never be enough without an Alpha (Or knot that works too). I mean yeah, heats were survivable but it was a hellscape of constant arousal and pain if you didn’t have a knotted dildo or an Alpha at least watch over you and Lance had neither. He could only imagine teasing fingers or the blunt head of a cock slowly pushing into him “Fuck” He reached back his fingers sliding through his slick entrance trying to recreate his imagination. His toes curled as his fingers breached his entrance. The angle is wrong and his fingers won't reach that spot, he wants to cry. He doesn't know how many days of this he has left but Lance intended to spend them all curled in his burrow hiding to feel safe. 

***********

Two days pass since his heat and he’s trying so hard to feel normal wanting everything to go back to before his heat. But no one would stay around to talk to him. It wasn't like they were trying to do it on purpose it was just something they’d never had to deal with. The rest of the week he spends cleaning. You know, the type of cleaning you do when you have an essay due but would rather be doing anything else. They all appreciate it despite them not even thanking him for anything. He’d taken over some of the cooking to alleviate some of Hunk’s workload, he’d leave Pidge food for when she’d forget, help Coran and Allura with repairs around the ship. Only because he couldn’t sleep, he didn’t want to sleep. 

Nightmares would plague him, in one dream he was a bunny being torn apart by wolves, in another fish being bitten in half by a bear, there was a recurring theme and it was that he was prey. Fear keeps him awake and doesn’t let him keep anything down. 

Despite all of this, he was trying to take care of them, going above and beyond to do so. The only one he was hesitant with was Keith if he would even be around him long enough for him to do anything for. All he gets from him are deer in the headlight looks and half started sentences before he’d flee the room. Coran and Allura for the most part tried to understand when the disunity began. One week they were fine and the next all the teamwork they had built gone now surrounded by a heavy tension. But, what better way to solve this than to talk it out. 

******

Those few days turn to weeks then a month, and the opportunity talk never arose due to an unexpected distress beacon on a far off planet. It was going fine in the beginning, the Galra occupation was coming to an end. But then as always one of Haggar’s machines come out of nowhere nearly destroying what was left of the population of the planet. They throw in the towel deciding that,“This thing is too strong, we need to form Voltron. 

And the unanimous “Form Voltron” was given but nothing happens. Hunk’s voice crackles through the headset “Nothing’s happening, why is nothing happening?” In the months since they’ve formed Voltron there hasn't been this big of a problem until now. 

“We need to get the planet’s inhabitants out of here Princess get ready to warp!” Shiro’s voice sounds exhausted but the Paladin's did what was asked . 

****  
“Pidge, status report please?”

“Lance is making one last sweep and I have them with me.” Shiro looks down towards the planet watching as Lance swoops low over the trees.  
“It's all clear down here.” They watch the Blue Lion flying out of the atmosphere the slight tension dissipating. The robot is preoccupied with the vines that had wrapped itself around its cannon. But it would only be held off for so long. 

“Good job guys let's get out of here.” The day had been long and exhausting. As soon as they touch down on a safer viable planet to relocate the planet’s inhabitants. They’re swarmed with thanks and blessing. 

For the next couple of days they help rebuild which wasn’t too hard their society was based around hunting and gathering anyway. Nobody really notices that the Blue Paladin pretends to sleep alone in his Lion at night. They do notice that some of the work they’d left for the next morning is near complete and they praise Voltron for their hard work and dedication.

When the rebuilding was done, they were back on the ship each paladin voicing that they were heading back to their own quarters too exhausted to socialize. All except Lance who stays with Blue for a little bit longer. “Hey Blue, thanks for putting up with me, I know it's hard.” Comfort and hurt breathes through their connection and he feels like he's being wrapped in a tight hug. Which pulls forth a teary laugh. “Thanks Blue I needed that.”

The walk to his room is slow exhaustion and touch starvation would do that to him. It’s even slower when he sees that instead of their own rooms they'd gathered to sleep together. They hadn't even mentioned it to him..

*****

The beginning of their space-capades, Allura would raise the alarm testing their response time.These days, an alarm out of the blue wasn't unusual but it was still a shock. Which was why the Paladins were now in the control room in their pajamas all except for Lance who compared to the first run was in full Armor ready to go. “Allura what’s going on?” she raises an eyebrow at Shiro 

“ I should be asking you that. What happened yesterday was unacceptable after forming Voltron for so long why couldn't you now?”  
None of them answered surreptitiously glancing at Lance who was standing tense. Allura noticed, she always did. “Lance what did you do” 

He looked up at her shocked “Me?” 

“I mean it’s obvious everyone’s looking at you what did you do?’ His heart sunk he was trying so hard to be good.  
“I didn’t do anything I’ve been good…” His voice breaks and he quickly glances at Keith who isn’t giving him any confirmation that he has been. Pidge and Hunk fidget 

“He didn’t do anything Princess, he’s been good ol’ Lance. If anything it's Keith.” Keith gives the Yellow Paladin a sharp look. 

“Me? I’ve done nothing” Pidge rounds on him, all her pent up frustration finally exploding “That's exactly it you’ve done nothing. And as much as you want to deny it Keith we’re a pack and what you did what you did was super fucked.”  
Lance looks panicked “Wait stop, don’t fight!” He's not heard the argument already escalating 

“As if you two are any better you took apart his burrow.” This is news to Lance and he jerks the whole world stuttering to a halt. 

They really didn't want him here did they? All this time he's been trying to help trying to get things back to the way it was, was useless. He could laugh but that would just make him cry. He settles for an uneasy chuckle which is much more jarring than anything else he could have done. 

“We need our blankets back Lance sorry we didn't tell you.” He shakes his head and grins the fakest grin you could imagine even a baby could see that.  
“No sweat guys I shouldn’t have taken them in the first place.” He looks at the princess an odd glint in his eye. “I’m sorry It is my fault, I’ll work harder I promise next fight we’ll form Voltron.” She doesn’t look convinced maybe even more confused than she was when the fight started. “Now if you don't mind, I’m going to catch up on my beauty sleep. You don’t get sexiest man of the year by wasting your beauty sleep” And he's walking out as cocky as only Lance could pull off. 

He doesn't get far until bad thoughts start coming because what they said, it's not true they're a team, a family, they don't believe that right? Any positive thoughts is quickly drowned out by age old instincts. They tell him to flee ‘there’s nobody here to protect you when you’re vulnerable,’ Flee ‘Get to higher grounds before another storm comes’. 

Hes paranoid now jumping at every creak of the ship, every shadow.Trying to convince himself that no, this is just straight up dormant instincts ones that shouldn’t be as present as they are now. Packs were a thing of the past right? Those instincts too should be long dead. Everyone took care of everyone they didn't need an Omega… his pace slows to a stop. They don’t need an Omega. Not because Omegas were weak or sex fiends. But because there was no room for him on the team. He was just the temporary fill for the real Blue Paladin and when they find them then what. He would just be another mouth to feed on the ship a hinderance. The worst part was he trusted them with everything in him. He would always have their back and he thought they would have his. But wow, this was the biggest misunderstanding on this side of the galaxy. Here he was, stuck on this ship and he couldn’t just take Blue and go… But he could hide.

~~

“What did you do to Lance?” Allura ’ voice is quiet not unlike the calm before a storm. Keith still heated yells “We didn't do anything it's just stupid Omega exaggerations.” Allura scoffs “And what exaggeration is that?” “I wasn’t there for his heat and he’s been in a weird mood since then.” She purses her lips “You didn’t help him, you left him to go through his heat alone. No comfort or to at least check in on him?” 

He looks at her guiltily. “It sounds bad when you put it like that.”  
“She shouldn’t even have to say anything” Pidge is still mad her tiny fist clenched with unreleased rage. “The least you could have done is sit in front of his door at least let him know he wasn’t being abandoned. It didn’t even have to be anything intimate, just an Alpha keeping watch over him.” 

Allura sighs heavily “I’m going to talk to him. If he's ‘feral’ I’ll kill you both.” They all blanch at the word. “Feral, tha-that doesn’t just happen.” 

Hunk stands heading towards the door “With the amount of stress we’ve been put through this could be a trigger. Being constantly on edge waiting for another attack… We need to find him” 

Finding him is surprisingly easy the hanger for the lions could have been the perfect hiding spot if he was faster but he also left a trail of his armor on the ground. He had nearly made it to Blue when he hears the doors behind him slide open. 

He wails in frustration and fear before pulling out a knife and brandishing it towards them. “Don't, don't touch me just-” he cut off looking at his teammates. “I'm trying so hard to go against everything my instincts are screaming for me to do” 

His hands are shaking and he's not making eye contact with anyone, he can’t. It’s now that they see the toll that was taken on him. There are heavy bags under his eyes and he looks gaunt just unhealthy all together. Keith takes a step forward his hand reaching out towards Lance but at the foot fall Lance violently jerks back panicked fury in his features. Distressed Omega pheromones coming off him in waves. “Get the fuck away from me!” 

Shiro steps forward and Lance directs the knife towards him. “Lance, you need to calm down.” There's something in his voice compelling him to lower the knife before he screams a “No” he's shaking violently now. Eyes darting to each of the Paladins before they land on Allura. Her eyes widen. “He's gonna run.” 

And he does the knife slides clattering on the ground. Shiro and Keith are right after him but they have to give him credit, He's fast. Surprisingly so. When Shiro tackles him his arms are like a cage around him but he fights.  
The rest of them can only watch the struggling Omega as he tries to claw his way away from the Alpha. He screams like a trapped animal the strain on his vocal cords grating in their ears. Shiro flips him onto his stomach a hand coming to grip his neck. 

“Lance Stop!” He’s screaming and there’s blood, Shiro’s or Lance’s who knows. He presses the hand down harder Lance’s face scraping at the floor he's still trying to throw off the big Alpha nearly hurting himself in the process. “Omega!” the word is closer to a growl than actual words. The whole scene is awful to watch. Lance slowly stops moving his chest heaving a low sad keening streaming from his lips. Shiro comes back into himself and looks over his shoulder

“Get a first aid kit.” someone whispers and guilt eats at them. They scatter to grab it trying to avoid the situation. 

~

Shiro is with Lance in the kitchen watching him eat. There are bandages on Lance’s face and Shiro’s arm. But Lance can’t find it in him to feel sorry in fact he doesn’t really feel anything. They’re treating him as if he’s a wild animal, like he’s going to run away at any moment and they should. Only twice throughout the week he’s been able to duck away from their ‘protective’ watch. But they always find him which makes him bitter.

Hunk sits next to him and rubs his back. “You doing better?” Lance chooses not to answer in favor of another bite. “Lance we’re sorry. We found some spare blankets and Pidge is putting them in your room. She’s not too good with the face to face apology thing.”Lance frowns. “Sorry for all this.” Hunk grabs Lance’s hands in his. “Don’t apologize for this we’re the ones who messed up.” 

He takes one last bite and looks up at Shiro. “Am I allowed to go to my room?” Shiro sighs as he unfolds his arm “I just need to know you’re not going to run again.”  
“So you’re gonna follow there?” anyone with eyes can see that Lance is wary of him, of all of them. 

“If I have to yes.” The chair squeals as he stands. “Thanks for the food. Night Hunk.” Shiro moves to the side as Lance passes by him. Hes exhausted for no reason other than stress. 

Shiro stops a bit away from Lance’s door “It’s been a week Lance we really need to talk later.” Lance scoffs, nice parting words. 

He lays in his bed tossing and turning, and trying to figure out his next move. Talking to the team as embarrassing as it sounded had to be done, to clear the air and maybe get rid of the constant paranoia he’s still feeling.

When what they can consider dawn hits he's still awake. He knows he’s not going to be able to sleep now, not like he even could before. 

He leaves his room and similar to ripping off a bandaid, he goes to Shiro knocking on his door. It takes a moment before the door slides open and Shiro’s sleepy eyes widen clearly not expecting him to have initiated this conversation.

“Lance, It’s-” “Can I come in?” There’s a momentary pause then Shiro moves aside and the door closes behind them. 

There’s an awkward air around them and Shiro coughs. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Couldn’t, but other than that I’m great.” the sarcasm drips from his voice as he leans against the desk. 

“Lance.” 

Lance shrugs scratching at the healing skin on his cheek anything to avoid eye contact with Shiro.“I just wanna get this conversation over with.”

“Then you need to tell me how you’re really doing.” Shiro’s tone turns impatient and he gives Lance a look that puts him on the defensive. 

“What the hell do you want me to say, that I can’t sleep because everytime I close my eyes I’m tormented with nightmares, that every shadow and creak on this ship has me near about to piss myself?” 

Shiro shifts on his feet this is unfamiliar territory to him. “You should have let us know how you were feeling, all we know about your endotype is from a textbook Lance.” 

The disgust on Lance’s face turns his stomach, he’s made a mistake. “Omegas aren’t some mythical creature that nobody knows nothing about. We’re people just like you Shiro. Do you know how it feels to not be wanted? It sucks,” his voice breaks “Every Time you guys crashed in the living room after a fight nobody let me know. Dinner was always finished by the time I get to the dining hall.” He moves to leave and Shiro doesn’t have it in him to stop him. “I’ll get over it just give me time. God knows Zarkon won’t.”

*****

On the upper floors of the castle ship there's a training room that nobody but Lance uses or so he thought. He's going through a particularly difficult training sequence when hes interrupted “End training sequence, Lance we need to talk.” 

He spins dematerializing his bayard and glares “The hell bud, I don't come in when you’re training and interrupt you.” Keith ignores him and paces. “What do you want Keith?” 

The boy in question hesitates and Lance makes an impatient noise in his throat.  
“I think I’m in Love with you.” Keith blurts. 

That stops Lance short he wasn’t expecting any of that. “I’m sorry this has to be the worst set of scenarios to prompt this but the past few months have had to be the worst in my life and-” 

Lance’s voice is cold and hard.“No. Just stop. You can’t just come in here after everything that’s happened and tell me you love me. Do you know what you put me through?”

Keith snaps his mouth shut. “It’s been months since my last heat I’m so late because my body decided that I’m not safe enough to go into one. I can’t walk down corridors without looking over my shoulder thinking someone’s going to attack me. A confession isn’t going to fix everything Keith.” 

“I know and I’m sorry. I really like you Lance and I didn’t want our relationship to jumpstart because biology.” 

“Because of biology. Fuck you Keith.” He moves to leave but Keith puts his hands up blocking the door. 

“Lance, please I want to fix this just tell me how.” Lance gulps, the room suddenly feeling smaller . “You can start by putting your arms down.” 

“No, you’ll just leave, Lance” He takes a step forward as Lance steps back “Tell me.” 

The Blue Paladin doesn’t know he should do. Keith won't let him leave and he doesn’t want to hurt him. His breath is coming in short pants and he takes another step back bumping into raised cover. 

Keith just wants answers but when he hears Lance’s breathing quicken in fear, he puts it on the back burner. Immediately he moves to Lance standing in front of him defensively as he scans the room for any threat. Lance keeps trying to pull away and the fear scent gets stronger. He saying something under his breath and when Keith’s ears catch on to the repeated “Let me go” the damage has been done.  
“Lance, hey Lance look at me you’re ok.” He reaches out a comforting hand and Lance flinches. 

When Lance finally gets his breathing under control through clenched teeth he grates. “Just leave me alone.” Before briskly walking out the room. 

From that point on Lance begins to avoid Keith any time they’re in the room together Lance somehow remembers he has other things to do and Keith wants to be upset but this is all his fault. He’d like to blame it on not knowing but they’d all told him hell, he’d even learned it in the Garrison sitting right behind Pidge. Only a miracle would get Lance to speak more than a few words to him. Even after his apology there was no progress, just a hasty 

Its when Lance’s next heat hits, rather doesn’t hit is when everything reaches a climax. The morning is just like any other however when Keith walks into the kitchen. Lance is sitting at the table bundled in a blanket shivering at the table. He’s gained the weight he's lost back and looks a lot healthier but obviously something's wrong now. 

“Oh, Lance...um Hey.” Instead of answering Lance pushed the cup he's gripping towards Keith. “Tea please.” at least that's what he thinks Lance says, it sounds like he's been gargling gravel. . 

“You sound sick.” “I feel like shit.” He's still waiting for Keith to take the cup and when Keith makes no move to do so Lance deflates a little. He stands on shaky legs moving around the table. Getting to the cupboard is his first obstacle and all Keith does is stand there watching him. with difficulty get the ingredients stopping when a particularly strong chill sweeps through him.  
“The doors burst open and enters a panicked Shiro. “Lance, what are you doing out of bed,” Neither of them were expecting the fat globs of tears to start cascading down his face. “I just wanted tea.” he wail the cup falling from his hand. And shattering on the floor which prompts more tears. “Lance hey it's ok, no one’s mad. Alright, let's get you back to bed ok? Keith will bring you your tea.” Walking around the glass Shiro leads the sniffling omega out of the room pausing only to indicate to Keith to get the tea ready. 

One more broken cup later, Keith is carefully walking into Lance’s room teeth gritted from the heat of the cup. He sets it gingerly on the side table looking at lance only to be entranced in Lance’s deep blue eyes. “Hi.” Keith’s voice is just barely a whisper. 

“Hey.” The red paladin doesn’t know what to do. Last they really spoke they’d left on what felt like bad terms. “You warm enough?” Lance shrugs “Could be warmer.” It's obvious he’s putting on a front because he’s still shivering like theres no tomorrow. Keith moves to leave “I’m gonna go grab my blankets maybe it’ll help” quick as a dart Lance’s hand stops him. “Please stay.” And that’s how Keith finds himself with a freezing cold Lance on his chest. “Oh my God why are you so cold?” Lance glares with no real heat at him “It's a cold heat, to dissuade anyone from wanting to fuck me.” Keith winces

They lay in a tense silence only broken when Lance moves to burrow closer into Keith. So when Lance begins talking Keith jumps a bit.”My parent didn’t court for very long, have I ever told you this?”  
Keith nods “Yeah, you said they were both had businesses to run so they didn't really have time.” 

“Yeah, I didn't tell you that they worked in the same place though right? That they’d known each other since highschool and went to college together. They flirted here and there and wrote letters to each other but they never went on an official date.” Lance sighs and lays on his back. “One day they finally go on a date and out of nowhere Mom goes into heat. Mom still gets a dreamy look in her eye when she tells us how he carried her out of the restaurant and sat by her door till her heat was over.”  
Keith’s mouth is dry but he understands. “I mess up alot Lance, I’ll be the first to admit this and you’ll be the second, I know. But most of the time I follow my gut and things tend to go right. With you, my gut is filled with butterflies so I don’t know anything anymore. But I do know that I made a mistake and I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away but I miss you and I missed how we used to be before I fucked up.”  
Lance moves away from Keith and sighs and they lapse into another silence Lance choosing not to address what Keith had just said. At some point he falls asleep the chills giving way to heat. 

He wakes as a flash of fire goes through him and a whine rolls out of his throat. Someone tilts his head back and gives him water. Their scent curls around him dampening the flame for a bit. 

“Lance can you look at me.” He opens his eyes with difficulty it’s disorienting at first but after a moment he deduces that his head is in Keith’s lap.

“You stayed.” he doesn’t mean to say this but the words tumble out. Theres food at his lips and he turns away. 

“You asked me to. Here.” He puts the granola to his mouth again “You need to eat it’s tomorrow already.” Keith cards his hand through Lance’s hair and Lance acquiesces taking a bite. A soothing cool sweeps through him and he sighs content.

“This doesn’t mean we’re back to Lance and Keith, Couple extraordinaire, you still need to prove to me you’re not gonna abandon me ok?” Keith plants a soft kiss on Lance’s head and pulls him closer. “I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Find me on [ Tumblr ](https://wriiteitdown.tumblr.com)


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